Foster Classes Continue

We had our 2nd of 9 foster parent classes this week. I intended to post earlier to update, but as you can tell, that didn't happen.

We continue to learn a lot about the system, which is good. It is very complicated and each and every situation is different. But to atleast know the process is helpful.

Before this class I spoke with the lady in the adoptions part of the county social welfare office. After speaking with her, I learned that since we have specified adoptions, we will only get calls from the adoptions office. And it will only be for children whose parents' rights are terminated, or the social worker is going to recommend the rights to be terminated. That was a huge relief.

But then we go to the meeting, which is run by the fostercare part of the office, they are sharing the huge need in foster parents who are willing to get the 2 am in call for a child that is in need. With that you still have the opportunity to adopt if the child is opened for adoption. In fact you would probably be the first choice. So you would have children in your house sooner most likely. But then it isn't going to be guaranteed that you will get to keep the first ones, because reunification with family is the first goal.

And then she says if you are going straight adoptions you might have to wait a long time.

sigh

Jathan and I have to do what is best for our family. We have three children right now, and they are our top priority. What is best for them? I think we both agree that going straight adoptions is. I am just tired of waiting. I am tired of the process. I am tired of proving to people that we can parent and our home is safe. I am growing weary. This is a long journey. I went to the first meeting with our original agency in November of '07. It has been long.

I don't understand why adoption is so hard. Why if there are wonderful, loving parents out there that want to adopt and orphans all over the world and in this country who need a nurturing home, why is it so hard? I have to go back to the truth of God's word. He is in control. He loves those orphans more than I do. He is sovereign over all. He is good. I don't understand why. I may never understand why. But I know that the one who is in control knows why and knows exactly what He is doing. I also know that each step of the way, He is guiding me, carrying me, teaching me and loving me. I am not alone. It is not all in vain. I am in the refiners fire, and I am hoping that through this, in the end, I will mirror my savior much more than I did before I entered it. I have to focus on that, because I am tired on my own.