The good news is "M" is here. We picked her up this morning, signed all the paperwork and then headed to Applebees for lunch. I wish I could post pictures, but I can't :(
The not so good news is in the 90 minutes we have been home I have interceded in several arguments, sent one child to his room which resulted in screaming and banging on the door (unfortunately this behavior isn't too uncommon from him) and have another that is upset with the two that are playing and is now in her room because she doesn't want to be with them. That leaves 2 left to play together, hopefully they are playing nicely.
I know that there are going to be disagreements between four children within a three year age span, but I am hoping that this is due to the unusual day and not going to be the norm.
I was hoping to have a definite placement date to share, but I am still waiting to hear from the social worker. I was told I would hear by today, but I know that things are busy.
We had a great weekend. Not problem free, but it was really good. I felt like having the whole weekend not just 24 hours made a huge deal. There was definitely more bonding with it. We took "M" to church which went very well. We have a Sunday School class before the "big service" as we call it, but the kids are all in the "big service" with the adults. So I was a bit nervous on how she would do sitting still for that long. I called Gloria to ask her to sit with me just in case I needed some help. Since Jathan is up in the pulpit, I am on my own. Usually it is fine, but recently I have had a few issues with Drew during the services and not knowing how "M" would do, I wanted to make sure that I had back up. But all went very well. I believe this was her first time in church, so there were many questions about how Jesus died on the cross and how big God is. It was a big reminder of the job God has called us parents to do. Sometimes, being a stay at home mom, I feel like I don't do enough in God's kingdom, but this weekend was a reminder of the mission field in my own home. Anyway, back to the weekend. Sunday afternoon as we were getting ready to leave to take her to her foster family before our evening service, she began to cry saying that she didn't want to leave. It took all of the my strength not to break down with her. God has been good to give me the words to say when these new situations arise, I am so thankful. "M" cheered up later and when she arrived at her foster home she was excited to see her foster mom's dogs.
The back and forth has gotten hard on her and us. Paige was sad that night because "M" wasn't there to sleep with her. If you know Paige, she isn't the emotional type so that was a big deal.
After talking to the social worker and letting him know about the weekend and the tears, he agreed that it was time. I was prepared to fight, but I didn't have to, he totally agreed. As of now, the plan is to sign placement papers on Friday and have the actual placement on Saturday. But there are a few people he still needed to square things away with so we are waiting for the official plan. I know it is still going to be hard for her to leave her foster mom. And we are still adjusting too, but I saw God give us much grace when needed this weekend and I know that He will be faithful to continue to give it.
I ask that you pray for the details to work out and everyone's adjustment.
We haven't told her to call us Mom and Dad, but she did on her own refer to both Jathan and I that way a couple of times this weekend. It warmed my heart.
Well, there really isn't too much to update. More of a checking in. "M" is here for the whole weekend. We still do not have the actual placement date scheduled. A social worker came to the house after I picked her up to check on things. It was a friendly visit to introduce herself (she is new working on the case) and to meet "M" and our family. I am to call the social worker on Monday to let them know how the weekend went and to schedule placement. The process has slowed down a bit because they want her to finish school. That will next week. It seems silly to move her with one week left.
I was happy when I got to her foster mothers and "M" said in a very excited voice "I get to stay with 2 nights this time!!!"
The kids went with me to pick "M" up and on the way back to our house she told Clay that she was going to marry him. Clay is one that likes to set the facts straight. So he says to her "If we adopt you then you will be my sister and we can't get married. And anyway, it is the boy's job to ask the girl to marry him, but he first must ask the parents of the girl, then he would ask the girl so she can say yes or no." So I guess he has it all figured out.
So we will have her all weekend, including church, then take her back to her foster mother's on Sunday. From there I don't know, hopefully, I will after Monday.
Here are some pictures from our mini-vacation to Cayucos on the Central Coast of California. Above is the view from the steps going down to the beach from the beach house. You can see Morro Rock in the distance. The coast is gorgeous. It was a bit cold, but we enjoyed the trip none the less.
Below: Jathan and Joe relaxing on the beach. Behind them is the beach house we stayed in.
Below: The steps down to the beach from the beach house.
Below: The kids finally got to try out their new kite.
Below: Playing in the sand. We had a sandcastle contest the first day. Clay said that Joe and I tied, but he changed his mind after the tide came in and Joe's was the first to be demolished. He said mine was built better. he he. Paige spent most of her time digging with Jathan's shovel. If you wanted a hole dug, she would dig it for you.
Below: The kids were relaxing in their little shelter that protected them from the wind. It was so windy that day! Below: Drew and Joe playing with Wikki Sticks.
Below: We went on a nature hike through San Simeon State Park. Once we climbed to the top of a hill, we could see the ocean.
Below: Drew is watching a lizard that he found.
Below: Paige, Clay and Drew above where we were going to explore tide pools.
Wow, I didn't realize it has been more than a week since my last post. The days have been crazy, so time on the computer has been a bit less frequent than usual.
Since my last post we have been to the Central Coast and back, the kids were in a play, we had "M" for a night, Jathan did a wedding and now has flown out to Chicago today.
It has been a whirlwind and to be quite honest, I am so totally exhausted, I want to go to bed and it is just 8:30!
But this week is going to be quiet. Jathan will be home in a few days, but while he is gone the kids and I are having an Anne of Green Gables marathon (in addition to school, of course). We have all three DVDs. Even my boys like it. Jathan isn't too sure so we chose to watch while he was a way.
So what is going on with "M"? We had her for an overnight on Friday. Originally thinking we would have her for the entire weekend, we thought it best to keep it as an overnight because of the wedding and not setting her up to fail by running her ragged. It was another good visit. She now knows what our intentions are as she told us that her foster mom said that Paige was going to be her sister and Clay and Drew were going to be her brothers. I am glad that is out. I spoke with her social worker today and we are scheduled for a full weekend visit this coming weekend. Monday we will discuss placement with the social worker.
I would ask that you continue to pray for all of this. There is going to many adjustments, but God's grace is sufficient.
As I tucked "M" into bed for the 2nd or 3rd time, I said "Sweet dreams, sleep tight" and giggling she said "don't let the ..." Somewhere the words got mixed up as she was giggling. So I finished "bed bugs bite."
Wow she is in our house, sleeping in the next room. This afternoon has gone well. I know that there will be adjustments, but that is to be expected. It is still a little weird since she isn't technically placed with us yet, so the relationship that we have isn't the mother/child one that I hope to be working towards soon. But that is in God's hands and in His time.
I'll let you know what the next step is as soon as I know.
My sister-in-law brought us a tape player that her kids have long outgrown. It is one with the bright primary colors and has a microphone that the kids can talk through to record their voices on a tape cassette. She also brought along a few story cassettes for our kids to have. It was quite hilarious watching the kids try to figure out how to use it. I am not sure if they have ever seen a cassette tape before and they certainly didn't know how it worked. I guess cassettes to them are like 8 tracks to me. I wonder what their kids will think when they see compact discs and iPods?
The past 7 days have been CRAZY! Lots to do and the emotions of knowing that there is a little girl for us! So we started the 7 days getting to meet our little girl "M". You can read about that crazy day in an earlier post. Thursday and Friday were spent getting ready for the crazy weekend. We were watching my friends two kids and their two pets for the weekend (which was really no problem at all) We also had a mission retreat at our church and were housing a missionary couple and their child. Friday during the frantic cleaning frenzy the belt broke on my vacuum right after we had to rip the boys room apart because Clay took out his 2 hermit crabs and put them in a shallow bowl and forgot about them. Of course when they were remembered, they were not in the shallow bowl. Finding two crabs that could be anywhere in a house was not what I wanted to do as I was getting ready for all the company. I was just imaging one crawling across one of the missionaries as they were trying to sleep that night. Thankfully after removing everything from under the boys bunk beds, and toy box, we found both of the crabs not far from their home. I was able to get the house mostly the way I wanted before company. Saturday I spent most of the day at the retreat helping with the meals for the missionaries. The time I had at home I was preparing for Jathan's sister's family who was coming in that evening from out of state. After the Saturday night mission's meal, I came home and our family had arrived. Thankfully they were traveling with their camper so they could hookup outside our house. It is always nice when your company bring their own beds. We had a cozy night with 10 extra people around! Sunday, after church, the missionaries left, then my friend's kids left that evening and we were back down to 5 extra people. Monday we went up into the Sequoias and spent the day hiking and exploring. So that brings us to today. Our family was going to leave after we picked up "M" in the afternoon, but we received a call that "M" is sick and not able to come. Now that our family left, we are now back to just the five of us. I have to admit that I am quite disappointed that we didn't get to see "M" today. I really hope that she will be better so we can have her Friday night. This transition time is kinda weird to me, but I guess it is all necessary.
And now that the day is over I think I am going to head to bed early and look forward to a quieter day tomorrow.
Hi, my name is Melissa. My husband, Jathan, and I have 4 beautiful children, 2 by birth and 2 by adoption. Jathan is a pastor and I am a stay at home, homeschooling mom.
You will find me writing about my kids, my husband, God, adoption, homeschooling, our travels, life events and everything in between.
