Life in My Body is Hard

This morning didn't start how I had hoped. Last week was harder with Drew. Not the worst week by any means, but hard. We were discouraged thinking about the medicine and how long this bad spell was this going to last this time. Though last night I counted 5 days of no screaming. This week was different than the last, so much better. But then the morning began with screaming.

After time spent using all my learned tactics on how to calm a raging child, I was ready to throw in the towel. Thankfully Jathan was about to leave but hadn't yet. If it is only a 5 minute break, it still helps. So he stepped in, allowed me to breath for 5 minutes, then he had to leave.

I stepped up again.

Finally, Drew settled down and instead of screaming mad, he cried sad.

I held him.

We took relaxing breaths.

Then he says in a defeated tone

"life in my body is hard".

Heart breaks

I try to empathize with him, encourage him, point him to Jesus, assure him of our love for him, remind him he is not alone.

But I don't totally understand. He knows it, he sees my frustration.

Life is hard inside his body.

A Breath of Fresh Air

Today is an absolutely beautiful day. The sun is shining. The air is not hot and not cold, just right. The birds are chirping.

So the doors and the windows are wide open. The kids are on the patio playing. I won't allow them in the house. Days like this should not be wasted shut up inside.

It is refreshing to breath the fresh air.

Thank you God! I needed an afternoon like this.

Legoland California

Legos are a huge thing at our house. An activity that I happily support. You can't go anywhere in our house without finding a Lego piece. Hopefully you didn't step on it barefoot! The Lego magazine was introduced just over a year ago, as well as Lego.com. What a marketing genius. With the magazine came the realization that Legoland is not that far away and even better each issue has a free child ticket with the purchase of an adult full price ticket! The wheels had been turning in their heads on how we can use these free tickets since the children outnumber the adults. But they didn't have to figure for too long because in November, Grandma told them that their Christmas gift was to spend a week down in Carlsbad visiting Legoland. This was a dream come true.

So last month, mom and I drove the kids down (Jathan was able to join us for a couple of days). We spent 3 days at Legoland, a day at the beach and a day swimming in the pool. We had a condo with plenty of space + a kitchen. We had a great time.

I have to admit leading up to the trip I was a bit nervous because we had struggled so much with Drew on past trips. The meds seem to help him, but still you just never know. We packed a stroller to carry water bottles, snacks and lunch. And to carry Drew. He will be 7 next month, and looked way too big for the stroller, but you know what? It helped a huge amount. He cannot distract himself, so when he is tired of walking, that's it. He won't walk anymore without a fight. It doesn't matter what exciting thing we are headed to, he cannot concentrate on anything but how tired he is of walking. So into the stroller he went. I battled in my mind thinking "he is almost 7, we are not asking much of him" "He can physically do this, there is no reason he has to be in the stroller" "Are we making it worse by enabling him?" But at the end of the day, we had a peaceful time at Legoland. So, all I could say is we did what we needed to do to make this a pleasant trip. And it was!

Monday, the day Jathan joined us at Legoland was a rainy day. We got wet, but we only had to share the park with 500 people. That made up for the rain.