As the world is celebrating another year tonight, I began my celebrations early by celebrating another birthday today. Ahh! I am now 33. I remember turning 30 and having a couple of friends saying they were glad I was no longer in my 20's since they weren't anymore either. I guess we don't like to feel old alone :) I really can't believe that I am in my 30's. When I was in my 20's, all of my 30's friends seemed so mature. But I have to be honest, I don't feel that way. Sometimes I wonder to myself "Am I mature enough to have a husband, three kids, own a home and make decisions on my own?" My parents always seemed to know what they were doing. I sure don't. Maybe when I turn 40 I will feel that way. I guess I have 7 years until I find out. In the mean time, I will ask God to give me wisdom for each day and thank Him for the blessings that He has given me. Whether I thought I would feel more old or mature than I do as a thirty something, I know that I am blessed more than I could have imagined.
Thank you, God, for the wonderful 33 years you have given me, my family and my friends. Most of all thank you for you and the work you have done in my life.
Well we had our appointment today. On the way to the office we explained to the kids that it was very important to be on their best behavior. I even went a little further and explained what that meant, just in case they forgot. My biggest fear is that one of the kids will have a melt down and the social worker will figure we can't parent and that will be the end of that. The kids were great though, I was nervous because prior to leaving the house Clay had to be reprimanded for one thing and as the kids were walking out to the garage Drew had to be also. So I was praying that it would be the end of the misbehaving.
So we handed over our stack of paperwork known as our application. It was basically our lives in a nutshell, including references, diagram of our home, all the money we make and spend, physicals, and questions about every aspect of our lives. We were able to meet our social worker face to face. She seemed nice and encouraged me to call whenever I had questions. I liked that. She looked over everything and said it looked to be in order. Then we waited to be fingerprinted. We have been fingerprinted so many times between Drew's adoption, our last attempt and this time, that I wonder if criminals are fingerprinted as much as we have been.
The next step is training. That will begin the end of January. We will have a 3 hour class once a week for 9 weeks. During that time our social worker will come out to our house to look it over. In addition we are waiting on letter from the Adoptions office to state when the meeting for that is. Adopting through the foster system requires some additional steps, then if we are just wanting to foster parent.
So that is that. It is official now, we are on the road to foster parenting. As I was having my fingerprints done, the lady in the office asked me if we were going to be foster parents. I said yes, and she said "thank you, you are needed".
I've asked myself this question several times over the past year. We desired to adopt again several years ago while still living in Indiana. We knew, though, that we would be moving so postponed beginning the process until we were situated in our new home (where ever that might be.) So once we relocated to CA, I was ready to begin the process again. Korea was on my heart, so that was the assumption that I made, that we would go with Korea. However, once we arrived we were made aware of another possibility through the California Foster System. Sounds scary, but we learned about a private agency where we would have personal care, and more protection. They won't do high risk placements, meaning a higher risk of the child going back to birth family. So we investigated this process and through a lot of talking and prayer felt this was the way to go. That was two years ago. The homestudy process was a bit rough, a lot more paperwork than we had experienced with adopting Drew, we also had to take about 3 months off for family reasons. But we stuck with it and began child search in October of 2008. The weeks dragged on waiting to hear about a placement, then the months began to drag on. We were told about a few possibilities, our hopes were up to only find out that the child was placed with someone else. During this whole process the question continued in our minds, aren't there thousands of foster children in the system? Where are they? Why aren't we hearing about them? Unfortunately, the answer was timing. The economy is bad, California is bankrupt. What does that have to do with the children? Well the counties are cutting down resources, social workers are being laid off, things are moving slower, counties aren't spending the money to place children far from their location. Frustrating because most of the counties our agency worked with were around 3 hours away. Sad, because there are children, and they still need homes. And we are a home waiting for them. But after more talking and more praying, we have come to realize that we are on a dead end street. Spinning our wheels. After talking to our social worker several months ago, it was suggested to look into leaving the agency and work directly with our county.
We knew about our county's program in the beginning, but did not choose that way because of the risk. We could possibly have several children come and go to be reunited with the birth family. I didn't think I could handle it. After dragging my feet (Jathan was willing to switch a while ago) I have been reminded that when God calls us to something it isn't always easy. We both believe we are called to adopt, now we have to be willing to obey even though this road could result in heartache. We do know that even if children come and go, we will have the unique opportunity to be a family to them for a period of time. During that time we can love them, care for them and teach them things of the Lord.
So here we are ready to begin the process. Last week we closed our file with our adoption agency. I have to say there was sinking feeling in my heart when we did that. We have our appointment today with the county to get fingerprinted and turn in our application. We are specifying that we would like to adopt. With this they will try to place children that it looks like there will be a strong possibility to adopt. Of course, with many there are a lot of unknowns as far as the amount of risk. That is where faith comes in. We have to believe that we are doing what God has called us to do. We will pray and ask you to pray for protection on our family, especially our kids. We are proceeding with the attitude that we are taking care of children for a short period of time, if God opens the door to adopt one of them, we will be grateful and proceed.
So that is the story of where we are at right now. I will try to post later today to update on the fingerprinting and what the rest of the process is.
Please pray as we begin our new adoption journey. I want so bad to be an advocate of adoption and how special it is to God's heart. But I fear that when I share the heartaches and problems we have gone through, it will scare people off. It is hard, if you asked 100 people who have adopted about the process you will get many varying stories, some will be smooth processes where everything fell right into place, others will tell of the long wait as looked at the picture of their child on the fridge and longed for the phone call to bring them home, others have had matches to have them only fall through in the end. So many stories, but I would bet that of those 100 people you ask, not matter what their story was about the process, they will tell you they wouldn't have traded it for the world, because they now have that child, or children that God placed in their family. I have learned with adopting, it is so much more than helping a child, for me it is all part of God's sanctifying process in my life. Lord willing through it I am becoming more like him. All that to say, I hope that any of my adoption talk will not scare you off if you are thinking about adopting. Look back a few posts in my blog about our journey to get Drew. I know it is worth it. Hard, but so worth it.
My sister collects mugs from her travels and decorates her kitchen with them. She has yet to get one from our town in CA. She has some from others that she has visited in the state but not from here. She decided to have the kids each decorate a mug for her to have as her souvenir from here. So a few days before Christmas Mandy, Mom, the kids and I headed to a "paint your own" pottery place and the kids each painted a mug for Mandy and a take home treat for themselves.
Below, Drew is decorating the Mug for Aunt Mandy. He also picked out a transformer to paint. he was a bit disappointed to find out that it was for looks only though, not to play with.
Paige picked out a dragon for her take home piece. It did turn out quite cute. She concentrated so hard that I would find her sticking out her tongue as she painted, so cute.
Clay choose a jeep for his take home piece. He painted it in camo colors (his favorite). It turned out quite nice.
The kids did enjoy using their creative abilities painting. And they were very pleased when they saw their finished work after the pieces had been fired and were all shiny.
We had a great Christmas. Mom and my sister, Mandy, flew in from Indiana a few days before Christmas (and are in the process of flying home as I am typing). We actually celebrated Christmas (meaning we had the big meal and opened presents) on Christmas Eve. On that day Mom, Paige, Clay and I helped bag cookies for a local jail ministry. Our rule is to be 6 years old before you can help with this, so it was Clay's first year. One of the chaplains attends our church. On Christmas day they will hand out the cookies along with other items and scripture to inmates. It is a great personal contact that helps develop relationships that can be used throughout the year in ministry. After the cookie bagging we headed home, worked on the meal and started our family celebrations.
First, we had a very nice meal (if I do say so myself).
Then we took pictures by the tree.
Then we spent some time in the Bible talking about Christ, the reason for this wonderful holiday.
Then we opened presents.
The big gift for the boys this year were Bionicles. Clay was pretty sure that one of his packages had one inside and was pretty excited to open it.
And Drew was pretty excited himself to open his own Bionicle.
Paige is the one who cracks me up. She can be so girly and yet love, and I mean really love football. She got some Polly Pocket doll accessories, which she asked for and a Pittsburgh Steelers 2010 calendar, her favorite team, (we are a bit disappointed that the Colts aren't her favorite but they are in 2nd place) and football cards. She was so excited. Here is a picture of Paige organizing her football cards in the neat little binder that she also got for Christmas.
On Christmas Day we relaxed, played with our new toys and Jathan helped distribute the cookies to the inmates in one of the jails. We had a great time.
I remember when I was a kid the day after Christmas was a huge let down. Not that I was disappointed with Christmas, just that I looked forward to it for so long and then in a flash it was over. There weren't any more presents under the tree, in fact the tree was about to go back in it's box, we would say goodbye to cousins and grandparents and head back home, lights came down from our house, decorations back to the attic, it was over. A months preparation and then it was over in a day until the next year. So sad. The month leading up to Christmas day was so busy, filled with cookie making, decorating, Christmas programs, wrapping presents, peeking in presents (and I have to admit I was terrible about that, my mom had to double wrap gifts and use code to mark who they were for, but I always seemed to figure it out anyway, I was so naughty!) looking at lights, listening to Christmas carols, not to mention the night before when I would lay awake for what seemed to be hours trying so hard to listen for hooves up on the roof. Looking out the window anytime I thought I heard something or saw a flash of light, hoping that I could catch Santa. The morning seemed like it would never come. So when it was over it was disappointing. For some reason though as I have gotten older, I don't feel that way anymore. I don't think I am grinch and just don't care much about the holiday anymore. Maybe it is because we are out of routine and I like things in order so I look forward to the day after so that order can return to my house. Or maybe I can finally feel finished with all of the preparations and just relax a little. Or that I finally get to see the kids enjoy what we have been hiding from them for a while. I don't think it is any of those things though.
I would like to think that it is because I have realized the reason for the season. God gave us his perfect son. The perfect gift to us. And after celebrating his birth on Christmas we can celebrate his perfect life and his perfect sacrifice for our sins. So the day after Christmas shouldn't be a let down, because it should be us celebrating the beginning of God's work of redemption that he had been preparing the world for since the beginning. So if we are truly focused on Christ's birth and all that that entails, the day after should be a time of joy as we continue to celebrate this gracious gift of the Savior.
So, I pray as the Christmas season has come to a close, that the true meaning will be in the front of your thoughts and produce a grateful heart of joy. We are celebrating Jesus, his gift of salvation doesn't end on December 25.
"Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end."
I don't know why some days missing Dad hits me more than others. I know that holidays can be hard, but I don't think that is what it is. A couple of days ago the kids and I looked through a photo album that my sister put together of my dad's life. Paige looks at it all of the time, but she wanted me to look at it with them so I could tell them more about the pictures. It is nice to have the memories that I can share with the kids, hopefully keeping their memories of dad alive. Oh how I miss him though. It is little things like watching a Purdue basketball game and remembering all of the games that Dad and I went to together. Thinking about how excited he would be about how well they are doing this year. Looking up at the mountains as I drive through town and think about how Dad loved visiting us here and getting to go up into the mountains and exploring them. Remembering driving with my Dad across the country as he helped us move out here. Seeing the kids growing and learning and knowing how proud Dad would be of them. Talking to Mom and knowing that she is alone. Listening to Paige rattle off dates of crazy things like when she lost all of her teeth and so on and knowing she is exactly like my dad!
I miss talking to him and hearing his voice. I miss his smile and gentle spirit. I miss him.
His life on earth was relatively short, not quite 58 years. But he had a good life and I was blessed with the time I had with him. I never questioned his love for me, it was very evident. The time was shorter with Dad that I would have liked, but the time I did have was a blessing from God, for which I am very grateful.
As much as I wish Dad was here right now, I am thankful that Dad is with his Savior. I am thankful that my heavenly father is good, and I know that all is for his glory. And I am thankful that he uses my family in displaying his glory.
The addition is almost complete. Today they are putting on most of the final touches and super cleaning it. There will be just a couple of final touches to be completed in the near future, like the stair rail. It is just in time for my mom and sister as they are flying in tonight! We have painted the furniture that is moving in the room and Jathan will pick up the mattresses today. Everything is falling into place. I will be sure to post pictures very soon.
It is going to be weird having the construction over. I am use to work crews coming and going. People that I have no idea who they are walking around in the back of our house. It might become a little quiet around here. I imagine that it will be a bit strange. It will be a nice strange though.
A Mexican Christmas tradition is to make tamales. And oh, do I love tamales. In case you have never had them, you have to try one sometime. Of course I have learned that not all tamales are alike. I have been disappointed a couple of times when I spotted them on the menu of a Mexican restaurant and then when I dug in, it wasn't quite what I wanted. I have found, though, that of all the tamales that I have had that came from my own area, have not disappointed me, not even once! I believe the reason that they are a Christmas tradition and aren't served as much the rest of the year is the work that they take in preparing them. It is a two day process when you buy the masa (corn dough) already prepared. Our good friend Joe, said that his family use to truly make them from scratch, meaning, grow and grind the corn and raise and slaughter the pig. Well this year, Joe showed me how to make tamales almost from scratch (we didn't slaughter any pigs are grind any corn). But we did prepare the meat with our own homemade sauce (but then again I didn't grow the chili peppers either, oh well).
So one day last week the kids, my mom and I went over to Joe and Gloria's to learn how to make tamales. While Joe and I worked on the tamales, Gloria had several crafts for the kids to make to keep them occupied. They always enjoy going over to their house.
Here are some pics of our tamale making time:
Day one:
Cutting the meat into small chucks and getting the fat off.
Chopping the garlic.
Joe is soaking the corn husks so they will be ready to use the next day to wrap the tamales in.
Splitting the chili peppers to get the seeds out.
Day two:
Spreading the masa on the corn husk.
Yummy Tamales!!! Muy Bien
Of course there is some waiting time, like when the tamales are steaming. So Joe got to play with the kids during that time.
And since day one we didn't have the tamales ready to eat, Joe and Gloria cooked us up some tacos for dinner. And oh how we love Gloria's tacos!!!!!
Now a warning if you do try a tamale, please unwrap the corn husk. I know from experience that it makes the tamale a bit chewy! :)
It was a sad day in our home today, when Clay's hermit crab known as "Crazy Crab" (named this because he liked to switch shells frequently), was found dead in his tank earlier this afternoon. A couple of days ago he was seen crawling on one of his tank toys, the next day his shell was left at the top of the tank toy and he was crawling around "naked". It seemed that the shell was stuck. I moved the shell by him trying to get him back in. We left him alone, but he continued to crawl around naked. Today we decided to clean the tank and put in new fibers on the bottom, but it was too late, he was already gone. After tears from Clay, Paige offered to share her crab with him. Clay accepted her offer after his pleas for a puppy were shot down by me. (someday, just not now!!!) So now we are down to two hermit crabs. Atleast, they have more room to roam.
Weather Weanie is a term that one of our friends that lives here in CA, but has lived elsewhere too, calls Californians that complain about weather being too hot or too cold (like in December and it is in the 60's and they are freezing). Well I have definitely developed into one. Today it wasn't about temperature, although I thought it was a bit chilly until my mom showed me a picture of my sister's neighborhood (I honestly forgot about the possibility of snow elsewhere) so looking at the picture I had to admit that no it really wasn't that cold here. Today it was rain. It rarely rains here which is nice in a sense because we can plan outdoor events and not worry too much about it raining. But not so good when we have a water shortage, which is all of the time. But anyway back to what I was saying. It isn't often that it rains, and even less often that I drive in the rain. So I am driving today to the airport to pick up my mom who is flying in leaving behind snow and ice and I am driving in the rain with a white knuckle grip because honestly I don't think I have driven in a real rain for a couple of years! Can you say WEATHER WEANIE!?!?
Our dear friends, Stephanie and Pedro, began the adoption process with Haiti back in January of '08. On April 11, 2008, they committed to the adoption of two very precious boys, Ian and Alec. Since then they have been working on paperwork, praying and waiting to be able to travel to Haiti to bring their boys home. Both were able to travel to meet the boys one time and Stephanie was able to go an additional two times to visit and spend time with the boys. But with all three of the visits, they left empty handed and had to say goodbye to their sons. They are in the final stages of paperwork with Haiti, but still there is need for much prayer for all the t's to be crossed and all the i's to be dotted. During the time of wait Pedro and Stephanie have seen God working and blessing them. God has blessed them with the finances on the adoption and he has provided a loving nanny in Haiti to care for the boys. Still they wait. For 600 days they have waited for their sons to come home.
Please pray that the rest of the paperwork would move quickly. Please pray that the boys would come home before Christmas. Please pray for protection for the boys as they are living in a country with diseases where children die frequently. Please pray for Pedro, Stephanie and their three children at home who are waiting, that they would continue to trust God in his timing, with his care and remember that he is good.
Click here if you would like to follow their story and know even better how to pray for them.
Like many things that God calls us to do, adoption isn't always easy. But at the end of the journey it is a blessing that will be worth the wait.
Please pray for Ian and Alec to come home soon. Thank you, Melissa
Every holiday, every year, I struggle to make it be what I believe it should be. Trying not to let Macy's, Target, Hallmark, and the rest of our society dictate what we focus on. Christmas is the biggest. Santa Claus, presents, cookies, etc. They all seem to take the front and center. But I don't want it to be that way. So how do we make Christmas different? How do I show our kids that Christmas is about God's gift to us. Jesus. The gift that was promised to Adam and Eve after sin entered the world. The gift that Abraham and King David were promised would come. The gift that would save us from our desperate state of sin. What is Christmas suppose to look like? In the Old Testament, God gave instructions to the Israelites on how to celebrate specific holidays/festivals like Passover. Christmas isn't laid out in the Bible as to how it should look. Really the only one that is laid out for us now is the Lord's Supper. So what should Christmas look like to show our children and those around us why we celebrate this holiday? We aren't going to avoid the gifts and seeing Santa everywhere. But I believe we need to be proactive in teaching our little ones about the precious gift from God. I want to be intentional in all that we do this year. I was recently introduced to the Jesse Tree. Here are two links that give information on it:
Typically you would start this at the beginning of Advent. But I don't think it is ever too late. There are scripture readings everyday that will point us to the coming of Christ. (Thank you Rachel for sharing this with me.)
In the past few years we have used What God Wants for Christmas. You can look at it here. The kids have loved this because it is a manger scene they can touch and play with. It is something that you can do with a group such as a Sunday School class or just with your family. You can open one box each day before Christmas or you can spread it out over the day of Christmas. There are lots of options.
Another thing we do is bake cookies for our neighbors. The kids help with the baking and the delivering. In the past we have included a book with the cookies such as John Piper's book Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ, click here to see how you can order it by the case. It is great to include the kids in this Christmas outreach.
I would love to hear how you and your family celebrate Christ's Birth. Please leave a comment.
I know there are many great ways out there to focus ourselves and our families on the beauty of Christ, so please share yours!
Hi, my name is Melissa. My husband, Jathan, and I have 4 beautiful children, 2 by birth and 2 by adoption. Jathan is a pastor and I am a stay at home, homeschooling mom.
You will find me writing about my kids, my husband, God, adoption, homeschooling, our travels, life events and everything in between.
