Soccer season is officially over. The awards were on Thursday and we had our first Saturday with no game. I will miss it though. Paige and Clay were on the Aztecs this year. Jathan and a friend of ours coached the kids. Even though it is a league where score is not kept and is suppose to be noncompetitive, we know that we ended the season with one loss, one tie and the rest wins. So we were very happy. (I would say that it was the kids that kept the record, but I think it was mostly dad!)
Jathan before the game with all of the gear for the sidelines.
Paige is right in the middle running after the ball.
Clay is the one with the ball right in front of him.
Some might say that the post game snacks are the best part of the game.
(Thank you John for sharing your pictures with me!)
I call it a journey, because it can be a long road and even though we went with one of the most predictable international programs, there still are a lot of unknowns and the potential for twists and turns. And it can be very tiring.But as with most journeys, the end is worth the work along the way.
We had two applications to fill out, one for our homestudy agency (Bethany Christian Services) and another for our placing agency (Childrens Home Society and Family Services).Not all adoptions have that.But we were in Indiana and the placing agency we choose was in Minnesota. We had to have a local agency conduct our homestudy.After acceptance with both agencies our homestudy began.I will tell you that I was so nervous for the homestudy. I viewed it as a social worker asking a million questions about past, present and future, hoping to dig up something that will make you ineligible for adoption. I was so wrong.Our social worker was there to gather information about us to help us get the best match for our family and to educate us along the way. What I stressed over and came close to getting ulcers over, was really no big deal. Atleast looking back. Our social worker walked us through all of the government paperwork (which is a lot) and all of the training. It was really helpful.The hardest part of our homestudy was the piece of paper that we filled out regarding what we would accept in a child and what we wouldn’t. Jathan and I still talk about that paper.We prayed very hard that God would direct us. It is hard to check no on any of the disabilities listed because you know that would rule out a child that was just as deserving of a home as any. And those children that were ruled out for us were ruled out for many other couples seeking adoption. Meaning their chances of getting adopted was small.That is heart breaking. Who are we to say what type of child we should get? But we had to fill it out.We could put that we would accept any child with anything, but we also had two small children (ages 1 and 2). What could we handle? After a lot of time and praying we did settle on what to put and we trusted God to place the child he wanted us to have with us.
After the homestudy was completed and our social worker signed off on it and we had completed all of the government papers and were fingerprinted, we were officially in the matching process.We had no idea how long this process would take.But we ended up being pleasantly surprised when we got a call from our placing agency on one June morning. I remember Peggy’s voice saying “I have a referral for you. I have a picture here of a little boy.He is around 3 months old and his name is Shin, Tae Hwan.” Oh wow!We would let us accept him right away.They had to fax the paperwork over to us and we had to look at it and talk to a doctor about the medical files and so on. And it was a week later before we even got his pictures to see what he looked like. But in July it was official.I remember crying in the parking lot of the UPS Store after I dropped off the remainder of our paperwork and the papers that said YES, Shin, Tae Hwan will be our son.
If you are like me, Christmas can turn into a stressful time of figuring out what to get for everyone on your list and what to tell people to get for you and your kids. I don't like just getting something to get something and I am trying my hardest to steer our children away from greediness and wanting everything. What should a Christian's Christmas really look like? I have battled with all of that and what I should do about it, but I will leave that for another post at another time. The reality is Christmas shopping is going to happen so I will try to be intentional with the gifts that I buy. So I was excited to get an email from Desiring God today describing the Christmas Sale they were having. Check it out. They have a category of books for everyone that you might be buying for. I haven't read all of John Piper's or Noel Piper's books, but what I have read have been God glorifying and have helped me grow in my walk.
I don't think that I will ever forget the circumstances and the influences that brought us to adopt Drew. But then again there seem to be a lot of things that I do not write down thinking that I will never forget, only to find that I forgot. Even though I have shared the story many times and this is definitely more significant than most of the other things that I thought I would always remember but don't now, I am going to write it down even though I don't think that I will forget what brought Jathan and I to the decision to adopt.
When Jathan and I were engaged to be married, we filled out a questionnaire separately for our pastor asking all sorts of things about our thoughts and desires regarding our marriage. One question asked how many kids we thought we would like to have. I put down 3 or 4. Jathan wrote 2 or 3. Well seeing that, I figured 3 would be the number then.
We got married, Jathan started seminary, I started working, children were on the back burner. Not that I didn't want them, but practically it worked better for me to work full time, Jathan to be in school full time, then we could finish seminary quicker and get on with our lives. It just made sense. As Jathan was in school, we had several friends get pregnant and have babies. And our dear friends, the Garcias, adopted a little girl, Eva. That was our first up close experience with adoption. What a joy it was to watch that miracle!
Finally, we were in the home stretch of seminary so we decided it was time to start thinking about kids. We weren't getting any younger, ya know. God blessed us right away with our daughter, Paige, and then 18 months later with our son, Clay. During this time, adoption never occurred to me for our family. Although I thought about adoption often as I watched others in our church adopt and our friends, the Garcias, grow their family through adoption. I have to be honest in my mind I thought of it mostly for families that were not able to have children.
After Clay was close to a year old I started to talk to Jathan about planning for our 3rd child. Remember that was the middle ground that we fell on way back when we were engaged. He was dragging his feet though. He thought two was quite enough at that time and he wasn't sure if he was ready for a 3rd quite yet. Trying to be understanding, I did remind him that it does take 9 months (or closer to 8 months for me, mine seem to come a bit early) before the baby would be born and we needed to start planning. Eventually, he said he would be ready in a few months. I was happy with that. As long as we had a plan, I am happy.
But one day I was standing at the kitchen sink doing the dishes. I thought about some families in our church who had adopted. They already had kids when they adopted, I started thinking about the children around the world and in our own country who have no one to call mommy or daddy. They didn't have a mother that they knew would be there when they cried, or to kiss them goodnight, or hug them and just say "I love you". I thought about all of the children already in the world that were without families. That are already living here, in the world, right now, that will grow up with no one unless someone chooses to adopt them. Could we adopt? No, there is no way that Jathan would go for this. He is having a hard time thinking about having a third child, let alone pay a large amount of money to adopt one. So I remained quiet about it and really tried to push it out of my mind.
During this time our senior pastor was involved in orphan ministry in South Africa. He began teaching on God's care and love of orphans. One Sunday, in late November, we were driving out to the tree farm to pick out our Christmas tree. As we were driving, Jathan asked in an odd, uncomfortable, nervous sort of way "What did you think about Pastor Whipple's sermon?" I don't remember what I said, but I remember saying a few things that really stuck out to me, totally not what had stuck out to him though. He said a few things about the sermon, then said "It has made me think, what do you think about us adopting?" What? He has been thinking about it too!
So our journey began.
We began to gather information, talking to people to find out all that they knew about adoption. Then the decision had to be made: Domestic or International. We chose International. At that point in time, I didn't think that I could risk domestic. To have birth parents change their minds, or the fear I had about the birthparents finding us. I was too fearful for that. International, to me, didn't seem to have all of those risks.
Now, which country? I researched many countries and their adoption policies. We talked to more people. We prayed. There were so many factors to consider. Cost? How many times do you need to travel to the country? Do we fit the criteria of the country? We looked at our church family. Our church had a large ministry to International students, which was mostly made up of Asian students. So we narrowed it down to the continent of Asia. We were too young for China and we didn't make enough money to meet their criteria. We crossed that off our list. After looking at the other possibilities we were left with Korea to be what we thought was our best option. For several reasons. #1 We fit the criteria #2 Korea has been doing adoptions with the US for years, it was a smooth process #3 I hate to say it as a reason, but it wasn't as expensive as some of the others #4 We have a good Christian friend that had been adopted from Korea, I wanted our child to have someone to look to and could relate to.After all of these questions were answered along with what agency we were to go through. Our first application was submitted and it was official. We were adopting!
November is National Adoption Month. Yesterday (November 8th) was Orphan Sunday. I had big plans on the blog to support it and type up things most days regarding orphans and the Christians call to minister to them. But like usual, the plans got put back behind all of the other plans that needed my attention right then. So here I am the day after Orphan Sunday and 1/3 of the way through National Adoption Month and I am just now typing something about it. But as the old saying goes "it is better late then never" here I go with a post devoted to the month.
There are over 143 million orphans in the world. The US population is estimated to be about 308 million. That is almost half of the US population.
In the United States, there is estimated to be over 500,000 children in the foster system.
The numbers can seem to be so high that it is impossible to even make a dent in the need around the world and in our country alone. But that isn't true. The numbers are very high, but we do have a God who is bigger than numbers. And He has called us, as believers, to do something. Not every Christian is called to adopt, although it is something to think about. But every Christian is called to minister to orphans.
James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
Isaiah 1:17 learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.
How are you going to respond?
Click on the link below to see 10 ways we as believers can minister to the orphans and the waiting children around the world.
Today we finally celebrated Clay's birthday at Chuck E. Cheese. Everyone in our house is mostly well, so now was the time. We invited our neighbor, Easton, to join in the celebration.
Football is probably Paige's favorite sport. So she spent some time trying out as quarterback.
I don't think this cage is too bad of a place for the boys. :)
All of the kids had a great time. Jathan and I sacrificed and played some games to earn extra tickets for the kids. Or atleast that is what we told ourselves we were doing. I thought that I was being helpful, until I saw Paige play skeeball and I realized she didn't need my help. Oh well, we had fun. So now the birthday celebrations are over for Clay, alteast until next year. We managed to drag them out for a week and a half, not too bad. Now we can begin preparing for the next birthday in our house. (which is mine!)
Yesterday I walked around the addition and inside to take some pictures. They put the stucco wrap on the outside, insulated the inside and have begun to put up the sheet rock. Here are a few pictures of the progress.
This is our old patio with the new patio next to it. The area on the right use to all be roses, so we ripped them out, now there is a floor made with pavers and wall going around it. The wall will have stucco put on it to match the house and a stone cap.
The bedroom part of the addition.
The arched door going into the bathroom.
These are the stairs going up into the loft. It is very hard to get an idea of what they will really look like from this picture. The runners are stained, but are covered with paper, and the treads are just temporary treads, the real ones are stained and a lot thicker.
The little nook in the loft that has the sheet rock already.
The is on the side where the addition is joined with our house. The window is our new window in our family room. I call this new area the courtyard because it will be a patio with building around 3 sides of it. There will be a walkway around to the front yard on one side and a walkway around to the backyard on the other with a fence closing off the 4 side of the patio. The family room and kitchen will have a window looking out to it. There will also be two doors going to it.
Hi, my name is Melissa. My husband, Jathan, and I have 4 beautiful children, 2 by birth and 2 by adoption. Jathan is a pastor and I am a stay at home, homeschooling mom.
You will find me writing about my kids, my husband, God, adoption, homeschooling, our travels, life events and everything in between.
(Thank you John for sharing your pictures with me!)
Today we finally celebrated Clay's birthday at Chuck E. Cheese. Everyone in our house is mostly well, so now was the time. We invited our neighbor, Easton, to join in the celebration.
