100 Days Survived

Today we celebrated the one hundredth school day of the '11-'12 school year. Generally the only reason to keep track is in case a social worker comes to the door and asks for school records. Because really when you school at home or where ever you find yourself, you realize that learning can take place without a math worksheet sitting at the table. But for record keeping purposes, I keep a calendar of the days between fall and spring that we do sit at the table with a math worksheet.

Until recently, however, those numbers were not posted for the students to see. This year is different. Drew's special ed coordinator recommended us count days using numbers and coins. The thought is to help him see the numbers increase and see a value for the number. Also to see the value of 10 pennies equaling 1 dime and now 10 dimes equaling 1 dollar. I told the kids at the beginning of the school year, we would celebrate the 100th day. I wasn't really sure how, but I said we would do something different.

As the day approached the questions started increasing about what we would do. One child (Clay) said that maybe we wouldn't have school that day. Another (Paige) responded that if we didn't have school then it wouldn't be the 100th day. That would be a dilemma. hmm. So we settled for no chores (so the house isn't looking the greatest right now, but oh well), a special snack, the bare essentials of subjects (everyone had their math worksheet to do of course) and games. Several games.

I got a chuckle at lunch when MacKenzie prayed for the meal and thanked God for allowing us to survive 100 days. Yes, we did survive. And yes, we still have quite a few more days before we can call it a school year and put away the calendar. But we are over half way there!

Anybody Still Out There?

Happy New Year

Merry Christmas

Happy Thanksgiving

and every other holiday that has passed since I last wrote.

My intentions were to blog more once the adoption was finalized. I realized how hard it was to blog and post pictures when I couldn't write much about MacKenzie or post any pictures of her. It didn't seem right to leave her out. I hated cropping her out of photos or leaving some of the best ones off because she was in it. So I told myself as soon as the finalization happens, I will post more again. But then I had completely gotten out of the habit of posting, so that of course didn't happen. Well I would like to say that my New Year's resolution is to post more, but it isn't. I hope to. But I going to focus more on spending time in the Bible, spending more quality time with my family and growing patient as I parent and teach my kids at home. I would love to write more. It is kind of a journal online. But I know it won't be my priority.

But today I AM blogging. So here goes...

MacKenzie's finalization did happen in November. We are so grateful! Thank you to all who prayed. The relief that was felt when we walked out of that courtroom was huge. A seven year old knows when she doesn't share the same last name with you. She notices when the social workers come to check on things because she doesn't legally belong to you. And she notices when you say that you are the foster mom to the nurse in the hospital, because legally that is what you are and for insurance purposes it has to be straight. So when it is adoption day it isn't just a relief that we don't have to answer to the county anymore. We invited a few friends to celebrate with us at the courthouse and afterwards with dinner.

A couple of days after MacKenzie's adoption we headed to Death Valley National Park to camp over Thanksgiving. It was so freeing to be able to leave town without calling the social worker and to get to go into Nevada without having to have a judge approve of it. We had a good time. I didn't realize how beautiful a place with the word "death" in its name could be but it sure was.

We are continuing to learn how to navigate through life with prenatal alcohol exposure. The charter school that we are working with is absolutely wonderful. They have set us up with speech therapy and occupational therapy for Drew. He goes every other week for both of those and then daily I work on things at home with him. The special ed teacher guides me along as I teach Drew at home, offering wonderful support and encouragement. Every other week we see a psychologist. She is working to help Drew with his rages. I am not sure if it is helping, but I do feel like it is helping Jathan and I know how to handle him better. We still have really, really hard days and sometimes the bad spells go on and on. But God continues to give us respite through other people or just Drew having calm days himself. Parenting Drew is a new world. We fight daily with figuring out what does he have control of that is sin and he needs to work on, an obedience issue and what is something that he has no control of. We had a glimpse at how the wiring in his brain messes up when one evening he couldn't remember his own sister's name. It saddened us greatly, but I think it was good for us to see. It truly is an invisible disability. Drew looks completely normal. And when he is around other people, most of the time he can act completely normal. Even for Jathan and I, we have to remember the brain damage. I am seeing it more and more with school. But it is so hard when his frustration results in raging. Which it can so often do. It is hard to focus on helping him when it feels like he is verbally abusing me. Yet it isn't Drew saying these words. But when we can get him down from a rage and we have to do it, he cannot calm himself down, he is broken. God is sanctifying us, but I have to admit, I feel like I fail more times than I succeed. I break more times than I care to admit. So we are constantly on our knees. We came to a point in December where we had tried everything from nutrition to psychologist but were only seeing things get worse. So we went back to the psychiatrist we had seen at the beginning of the year. The result is that Drew is now starting on meds. I have to admit that I struggle with this. I feel like maybe I failed somehow. I am one that does not like to take medicine for anything. But our home had become a place of constant tension where we were constantly walking on eggshells so we wouldn't set Drew off. Quite honestly it was not a pleasant place to be for any of us. So when we went into the office, the doctor acknowledged all we had tried and said that maybe it was time. I walked out relieved, scared and feeling a bit defeated. We are going slow, continuing all that we did before, because we do not want this to be long term. Are we getting results, it is hard to say yet. The dose is so low. I stop and think so often, what am I doing to my son. At the same time he is miserable himself, feeling completely out of control. We can most certainly use your prayers if you think of us.

I went more into detail than I planned on, but then again if you follow the blog and really want to know how things are going, you need to know the background. I am reminded daily of God's love for me. I don't deserve it at all. But his son, Jesus Christ, purchased my forgiveness and Christ's righteousness covers me. I am in awe when I think of the work that was done on the cross. Christ conquered sin. His work is finished. And God is still working in me.

We Have a Court Date

We met with the paralegal today and were given the official court date and time.

Friday, November 18 at 3:00

We praise God that it did not have to be pushed back anymore. Two more weeks and she is legally ours!!!

Thank you for praying!

Hoping for November 18

Well the last word on the finalization of "M" is that it will be on November 18. The time frame has changed a few times, once thinking this date but then given hope that it would happen before school started, then that changed to Sept/Oct. But now this is the date given. Or at least what they are striving for. I would love it if you would pray with us that it happens on that date and not pushed back. It may not seem like a big deal since we have her, but it does mean a lot to a little girl who knows that her last name is still different and legally still a foster child.

So please pray that it will happen on November 18th.

The calendar says that fall begins tomorrow. It is in the upper 90's right now, I'm thinking it might still be a while. But it will come. Of course raking usually doesn't happen until close to December around here, but we will still put up all the orange decorations to make it look like fall. Somehow even if the leaves are still green on the trees and you are wearing flip flops and a tank top, as long as you have a scarecrow to look at, a crispy apple in your mouth and the smell of spiced pumpkin in the air, you will be in the mood.

What do you most love about fall?

Lucky 13

August 1st was our 13th wedding anniversary. Thirteen wonderful years with my best friend.

My mom was visiting from Indiana, so we left the kids with her and ventured up to Kings Canyon National Park to hike to Mist Falls. The hike totaled 9.2 miles, mostly flat with a 600 foot elevation gain at the end, but it wasn't bad at all. Every bit of the hike was beautiful. So I got to spend the day with my most favorite person doing one of my most favorite things! I am a blessed girl!

This is our drive through Sequoia National Forest.

Now for the hike

We reached our destination: Mist Falls

Lunch, not a bad view

We walked a little closer to the falls and sat on these rocks for a while. It was quite loud with the water raging next to us, but so relaxing. We had a huge snow pack this past winter and now it is all melting causing the rivers to rage, which is both beautiful and dangerous.

We drove home and found our kids had made a shadow puppet show similar to what Paige and Clay learned about in Williamsburg. So that was our evening show after a pizza dinner (one of my favorites) Anniversaries look different now that we have kids. I look at them (the kids) and think of how they are one of the many benefits to marriage.

I think God for our marriage and Jathan's godly leadership and love for me!

Fruits of Labor

Our peaches are coming fast and furious. I am determined to allow as few as possible go to waste, however, it is next to impossible to keep up with them. I took a few days off of climbing up into the tree picking the "just starting to get soft" peaches and now I am in trouble. Now many are in the "eat me this moment" stage. So back at it I will be. I love our peaches, and most stone fruit in general, but as far as growing, the citrus is much easier. They will last many, many months on the tree and even on the ground for days provided they stay dry. But not so with stone fruit. You better be ready, because when they are ripe, you only have a couple of weeks and then they are gone. They have either fallen to smash on the ground or our friendly neighborhood birds have pecked away at them all. Maybe friendly isn't the word to describe the birds. The other day while up in the tree, one was squawking terribly at me. I felt like I was in intruding on its space until I reminded myself that we were the ones that pruned the tree this winter and thinned the fruit one by one this spring. We are also the ones to rake the leaves in the fall and pick up the fallen fruit in the summer. So I do believe I have every right to be in the tree picking its fruit!

Our raised bed garden on the side yard isn't doing too bad either. Mix tomatoes and basil from the garden, garlic, cheese and olive oil from the farmers market and some lavash bread from Trader Joes and you have a pretty tasty lunch!

I hesitated about putting a garden on our side yard by the street. I wasn't sure if our neighbors would appreciate the look of it. But I found it to be quite the opposite. Every time I am out tending it or picking something from it, if someone is walking by they comment about how much fun they have watching the garden grow. I have conversations with people I have never met before because of the garden. So it has been a blessing.

We are using the abundance of peaches to make more contacts with neighbors as we have been delivering fresh peaches to most all of them. Jathan and I realized and are convicted that we have not been using the opportunity we have in the neighborhood for the gospel. So that is going to change. The peaches have helped us open the door with communication and now we are working on more intentional contacts. You can pray for us if you think of it.