Catching up

Well it is 9:30 Sunday morning. I should be at church, but I am home with two sick little girls. Not too sick, thankfully.

I just typed, "I haven't updated my blog for a while", then erased it because I feel like I start every post that way, but I guess that is usually how it is. I am not a very good blogger, one because writing isn't my favorite thing, two because I have kids and a husband and I homeschool, and lots of other projects that are always waiting to get done, so there goes my computer time. But I wouldn't have it any other way, it just means that I simply am not a very good blogger.

So anyway, here I am home when I usually am not. And because the girls aren't in too bad of shape (low fevers and sniffles) I decided I would take some time to bring everyone up to speed on our lives. There are some things that I have wanted to post for a while, but haven't for a variety of reasons.

The last month has been crazy with company. Since March 4th until April 1st we had overnight guests all but 3 nights. We have had missionaries, my mom and grandma and then my sister. In the middle of all of that I had strep throat, we have tried to continue on a schedule with school and we have had some parenting/child issues that have been a bit difficult. But now it is quiet. Don't get me wrong, we loved the company!

Now to be transparent. Two other big things that have been going on in our lives is just figuring out how to parent children from hard places. This last month has ended the honeymoon period with "M". We struggled with lying, framing siblings, and refusing to take discipline. Here is where we struggled with parenting. Figuring out what the root issues were, discipling when a sin, and showing unconditional love through it all. There were days when I couldn't believe anything she said and she didn't care. And how do you help siblings bond when they don't trust her because she lies to them too and she tries to get them in trouble. I had a conversation with Clay about showing Christ's love to her, but at the same time I am thinking it is natural consequences for her that he doesn't want to be around her. But still she is his sister. Thankfully the last couple of weeks have been better, not every word is a lie. It has been a good reminder to us that kids do not come from situations like hers and not have any affects. So we are trusting God and crying out to God that he would help us, giving us wisdom and love for her. A quote from The Christian Guide to The Connected Child says "the past affects the future...but it does not have to determine it." It is so good to know that God is with us and he can transform anyone. If you think of us you can pray for our family as we bond and help her heal and show her Christ. We are so thankful for "M" and do love her so much. Adoption isn't easy, but we have seen God work in our life through it. We also are constantly reminded about how hopeless we were before we were adopted into God's family.

The other big thing is Drew. To make this short and not turn into a book, I am going to summarize a lot of what has happened the last 5 1/2 years since we have had Drew. He is a lovable little boy, always has been. However he has always had a temper with a very short fuse. Sometimes we weren't even sure what set him off. When we first got him, we thought he was adjusting, then we thought terrible twos, then we thought because his speech was delayed he was frustrated because he couldn't communicate. He would scream and jump around, and slap himself. He broke his crib even. But as he got older it got worse. Even after he could talk, although he still has a hard time expressing himself. After Godly counsel and a lot of praying, we were still not making any progress. In fact as his vocab expanded, his screaming turned into yelling at me and now he wasn't hitting himself, he was hitting walls and kicking them. We were frustrated. Most people didn't see this. It didn't happen all the time, but when it did he would scream for hours, I am not kidding we left church with him screaming one day and he screamed until it was time for bed that night. I was told just let him scream, but now he is hitting and kicking and throwing things. Sometimes he will wake up like this and have no idea why. After he calms down, he is happy and he himself doesn't seem to understand why. To go along with this, we still had speech issues, coordination issues (although give him a ball and he is amazing, but he runs into everything and you have to watch your feet, because you will most definitely have your feet stepped on when he walks by). He also seemed delayed in learning things that I thought he should know. About a year and a half ago, I talked to a friend who had some similar issues with her adopted child. She asked some questions and gave her thoughts. The past few months we have seen some doctors and they believe based on his history of prenatal alcohol exposure that he has FAE (Fetal Alcohol Effects). I was told by a professional that we would most likely go through the grieving process once it was diagnosed. I can't say that I have, maybe because for over a year I was sure that is what it was and feel better now that I know that I am not crazy and now we have people that are willing to help us. We are working with the charter school he is in to test him and find out exactly where he is at with with learning, speech, and psychologically. We struggle with school. He loves it, but his brain is like swiss cheese sometimes the info is there and somethings it is in a hole. For several months he can count to twenty. But one week last semester he couldn't count past five for the whole week. Then the next week he was back where he left off. We are getting help but there is no cure for FAE, we believe he is mild (thank goodness). We have found some ways that help him when he rages here at home, but if we are in public we still don't know what to do besides leave and hopefully we aren't far from home because he is yelling and hitting the window of the van the whole way home. We still don't know how to prevent the rages.

This has been our life. I have debated about sharing these issues on the blog for quite a while, but of course never did until now. The bright side is that God is working, in our kids and in us. We love our kids and wouldn't change our decision to adopt them for a million dollars. But it isn't always easy. When I was pregnant with Paige and Clay, I made sure I did everything by the book so that they could have that advantage. I can't control what Drew's birthmom drank while he was in her womb. With Paige, Clay and even Drew after 7 months of age, we have loved them, showing them by hugging and kissing them, telling them and providing their needs and structure. "M" didn't have that. And there is nothing I can do about the past. But they are our children now and we will do our part in pointing them to Christ and trust God to do the rest.

Thanks for listening. Or reading rather. I share this so I can be a little more honest in what goes on in our home and some of the daily struggles we have and also to share the triumphs. And maybe you can pray for us when we come to your mind. I in no way intend to turn anyone off adopting. Rather I hope that you will see how much children need loving and committed parents to teach them the ways of the Lord. But it isn't easy. Worth it yes, so very worth it!

Spring in the Valley

Winter lasts really only 2 months where we live, December and January. November still feels very much like fall and in February, more blossoms are coming out and we have some shorts days. Even though winter is shorter (and much, much, much milder), we still anticipate the spring as much as anywhere else. It is a change and one we all look forward to. Our part of CA is known for it's fertile valley soil where we can grow most anything and we do grow most everything. One of the favorites though in the spring are the fruit and almond blossoms that send a beautiful fragrance in the air and and are gorgeous to look at when they are in bloom row after row after row. The colors of pink and white are everywhere. And it can almost look like you are in a fairytale when you are among them. It is a short time that they are in all their glory, but when the petals float away and the leaves begin to uncurl we know that something better is on its way. Soon the plump, juicy peaches, nectarines, plums and apricots will weigh the branches down and not long after that, they will be in our mouths with the juices dripping down our chins. And the almonds, oh I love them too!

Before moving here, I really didn't appreciate agriculture as much as I should have and as much as I do now. When I have taken the time to learn about the plants, the trees, the bushes, and the animals that produce the good healthy food that I so enjoy, I can't help but thank the Maker for his wonderful plan and provision for us. I see how He has provided the soil, the sun, the water, the pollinators so perfectly to produce a nourishing product that I so often have taken for granted. I appreciate the farming men and women too for their hard work in raising these crops and livestock.

Some fun agriculture trivia that I thought very interesting.

Over 3/4 of the world's almonds are grown here in CA. And did you know that 2/3 of what you eat are dependent on bees to pollinate? Even the milk you drink and the steak that you eat. Remember that cow has to eat something and that something was most likely pollinated by a bee. During the weeks of the almond blossoms in California, so many bees are needed for pollination that bees are brought in from nearly every state in the U.S. Have you ever seen a truck with bees driving down the road? I am sure you have heard of a sheep dog guarding the sheep from predators, but have you ever heard of donkeys and llamas protecting livestock? Well they do and are used here in California.

Almond blossoms

Look closely and you will see boxes on the left side of the road.

Those are bee hives.

Birthday Week

A couple of weeks ago turned out to be a birthday week at our home. Our littlest one turned 6 on March 15th. Drew had been looking forward to the day for quite some time, when he was finally 6 years old! And the week before, my mom and grandma began their visit and we were able to celebrate my grandma's 92nd birthday.

In our house you get a party for your odd birthday and we do something special as a family for your even birthday. Thankfully, it was a "celebrate as a family" year since I had strep throat on Drew's birthday. So the rest of the family, including my mom and grandma, all went out to celebrate his special day. However, I did get to join in the celebration when he opened his gifts.

Here is the birthday boy, with his sibling made "birthday crown"

Out to dinner for Drew's birthday.

Out to dinner for Grandma's birthday.

March Madness

We look forward to the tournament every year. And every year we are hopeful that our Boilers will go all the way!

We all fill out a bracket, trying to go with reasonable guesses not our heart, well most of the time anyway. Paige loves it! And has won several years. Drew picks the lowest number every time and only has to make a decision as to which number #1 to pick when it gets to the final four and the championship game. This year the winner gets a night to pick the menu for dinner (and if I win, well I was told they would prepare dinner with for me)

So we will see how it goes.

I know we are already to a good start when as soon as we finished filling out the brackets, Drew says "Who won?" Um, it has just begun. Then "M" says, "Is this football?"

No Snow

Well it didn't come. There were a lot of disappointed people. I, however, was NOT disappointed. I will go to the mountains if I want to be in the snow and look up yonder at them if I want to look at it. To most of you who have had snow for a few months now, it probably seems weird to want snow, but when you only get snow once every blue moon or so, it is a novelty. Growing up with it, myself, not so much. Maybe next year.

Rain/Snow Showers

I just checked the weather forecast and this is what it said:

Tonight

Rain/Snow Showers

Low 36

I have never since we have lived here seen that in our forecast. I heard about a snow over 10 years ago, and apparently everything shut down.

This will be interesting.

Not the news I wanted

I received a letter from our social worker a couple of days ago. She had talked to the social worker in charge of our finalization. She sent me a list of the paperwork that was left to be done and the date that the other social worker was giving the court for finalization. She told me earlier in the month that the dates he gives court are usually very accurate. So with anticipation I skimmed the form and found "date of finalization" which read: 11/19/11. Oh, my heart sank. I knew that it would not be early spring, but at least early summer! I haven't broken the news to "M" yet. She is so anxious to be adopted. I know that there will always be a bit of uneasiness until it is official. Why, oh why does it have to be that far away. The only thing left to do is his part which is a child study (whatever that is). But as I have heard before, there are others that have waited longer. At least we have her, so to me there really isn't going to be too much of a difference, but to her, it is a huge deal.